A serious back injury ruled out any possibility of an NBA career for Brad, and so, after graduation, they settled in our city. They both landed good jobs--Brad as a financial planner and Marty as a physical therapist.

They bought a lovely home and were living the life they had both dreamed of, except for one thing. They were unable to conceive a child.

My wife and I were experiencing similar difficulties and we compared notes. When we decided to apply for inter-country adoption, Brad and Marty took a keen interest in what we were doing. They followed the process we went through very closely, and shortly after our beautiful 4-month old daughter arrived from Korea, they came to see her.

You could see the decision in their eyes. They made up their minds the moment Marty picked Jessica up and held her in her arms. Their Melissa arrived six months later. They brought her over to play with Jessica and the two took a liking to each other immediately.

During this time, Marty began to have terrible headaches and appeared to be losing weight. This was certainly unusual for someone as physically fit as Marty.

An MRI confirmed the worst of her doctor’s suspicions. Marty had a golf ball-sized brain tumor. The good news was that it was operable. Without delay Marty underwent surgery. It was successful and her surgeon was optimistic that all of the cancer had been removed.

One year later her symptoms reappeared and another MRI showed that the tumor had returned. It came back with a vengeance. Within days of its discovery, Marty lost her ability to walk. Eating and the most basic chores became extremely difficult and her speech was fading.

I visited her in the hospital. It was apparent that death was near. Our conversation covered a wide variety of topics. As it drew to a close, I had one more question. With as much tenderness as I could muster, I asked how she felt about all that was happening to her.

I will never forget her answer. Without a moment’s hesitation, she said, "I am so grateful."

I wanted to shout to the heavens, "Grateful? Grateful for what?"

All I could think of were the things Marty was losing-–her life, her home, her family, her future. What could she possibly find to be grateful for in the midst of all that?

But before I could ask, Marty continued in her halting voice, "I am so grateful that God gave me one year with my daughter."

She died a few days later. At the funeral home, Brad greeted us. We exchanged silent hugs. He looked very lost—barely 30 years old and now a widower with a toddler to raise on his own. Little Melissa, not comprehending what was going on, was passed around from relative to relative. And Marty lay in her coffin, down but not defeated.

There are days when I feel disappointed in people or cheated by life or let down by some expectation that was not realized. It is then that I remember Marty and the gift she gave me in that hospital room sixteen years ago. It is the gift to find something for which to be grateful no matter how hopeless the situation may appear to be. For that gift I will always be grateful.

-- John Gugel